How to choose your child's school after separation

Posted 28 Jul '21

What to do if you and your ex-partner can't agree on a school

Even when parents are together, there are a lot of factors that go into choosing a school for your child or children. Navigating these factors can become far more difficult when parents are separated. What if you can't agree on public versus private schooling? What if your preferred school is far away? What if the parents live in different catchment areas? Read on below to understand what questions you need to be asking in order to reach the best decision for your kids. 

What if the children live primarily with one parent? 

One of the most basic aspects to consider is who the children live with, and how far the parents live from each other.

For example, if the parents live an hour away from each other and the children live primarily with one of the parents, then it is in the child’s best interests to go to school near their home. We’ve seen some parents feel that a ‘half way between two houses’ approach is what’s ‘fair’ because each parent has to drive the same distance. But while that might be fair for the parents, it’s not fair for the child (who has to do 100% of the travelling).

Enrolling your child or children in a school a considerable distance from the primary parent’s household also makes it difficult for the child to take part in school based extra-curriculars or social activities. It also causes practical difficulties when a parent travels with the child all the way to school only to realise they’ve forgotten their homework (or their shoes!).

What if my child is gifted or has special needs?

In some circumstances, a child may be gifted in a particular field or require special assistance and it would make sense for them to attend a school that is more aligned to their needs. This means there may be a reason for the child to attend a school which is a bit more impractical because of the overall benefit provided to the child. Situations like this are considered on a case by case basis, and the parents would need to weigh the benefit of a specialist school against any excessive travel or inconvenience. 

What if we can't agree on public or private school? 

The argument over public versus private schooling is one of the most common issues we see separated parents dealing with when it comes to schooling. In our experience, the answer comes down to whether one or both of the parents are able and willing to pay the costs of the private school. 

Where both parents prefer private education but only one can afford the fees

In circumstances where both parents would prefer private education, but only one parent can afford to pay the fees, then it is up to the parent with deeper pockets to decide whether they are willing to pay. That parent needs to consider this carefully and keep in mind that private schooling can be a 13 year financial commitment. 

The parents may agree that payment of school fees offsets any child support obligations or is paid in lieu of any child support. In these circumstances we recommend parties enter into a Binding Child Support Agreement to make the payment obligations of both parties exceptionally clear. If these circumstances apply to you, contact our office today for expert assistance. 

Where one parent wants private education and the other wants public

Where only one parent wants a private education for the children and the other would prefer public, then it comes down to whether the parent who wants private school is willing and able to pay 100% of the fees.

In these sorts of circumstances it’s unlikely the other parent would agree to the school fees offsetting child support obligations, and the parent pushing for private school must keep this long term obligation in mind. Just like with any school, the parents in these circumstances will also need to consider the basic factors such as distance from the parent’s homes, which school is better suited to the child, and academic and extra-curricular performance.

Can I just enrol my children in the school I want? 

Technically, if there is no court order then either parent can enrol a child in the school they choose without the other parent's knowledge or consent.

Other than in exceptional circumstances (i.e. school starts tomorrow and they’re not enrolled anywhere) then we would not recommend doing this. If the matter goes to court then the judge is unlikely to be too happy with the parent who unilaterally makes decisions about the child without consulting the other parent.

If there is a court order that says the parents have equal shared parental responsibility, then you cannot enrol the child without the other parent. To do so would be a breach of the court order, because equal shared parental responsibility means that parents consult and agree on all major decisions for the child (including education).

Simplifying the Issues

If all of the above factors seem a bit complex, or if you're not quite sure how they would apply to you, follow the graphic below for a guide. 

Advice for Parents

If you’re having trouble agreeing to a school with your ex-partner then contact us for advice today. The Court system can move slowly, and you can’t wait for the school year to begin before trying to get an agreement in place. It is much harder to obtain a court order for a child to move schools, than to get an order for them to go to the right school in the first place, so don't delay. Call us on 07 3317 8322 or email office@jrburns.com.au for a confidential chat with our principal solicitor. 

Please note the content of this post is information only and not legal advice.  If you require legal advice it is best to contact one of our lawyers who can review your particular circumstances and then provide tailored advice according to your needs.